Assemblin' an Assembly

So, I've been spending the last few weeks editing. Mostly my own stuff, though every once in a while other work comes in which slows things down a bit. I don't mind though, gives me a chance to take a break from That Thing. Editing is hard. No, hard isn't the right word, though it does become a grind at times, this being one of those times. Wading through so much footage is becoming a daunting, seemingly endless task that's bringing me nothing but frustration. Didn't help that the other day I lost three hours of work because I wasn't diligent enough in saving before Final Cut Pro crashed. Lesson learned the hard way I suppose.

The big thing, I think, is the clash of the present me and the me of a year ago. There's a small amount of pain being inflicted by listening to my directing the cast and crew, the same way some can't stand seeing themselves in photos or video. My voice grates on my nerves. More than that though, I'm constantly questioning choices made, trying to remember why they were done in the first place. Oh, if only I knew then what I know now... It's at least amusing when I find my present self hoping the past self does something like adjust the framing of a shot, or mention a different approach of the scene to an actor, then breathing a sigh of relief when the past self obliges. Laughing out loud at the little moments of genius an actor will interject or accidental moments of beauty that I didn't plan for or notice through the little lcd display become alive in retrospect. That helps.

I don't quite know if editing an entire movie by yourself is normal, I'm assuming it isn't, but it's been interesting seeing how much the self grows over the years. I mean, the person who wrote the script isn't the person who directed the shoot, isn't the person who is now editing what the other two did. Time has caused me to forget most of the thought process behind decisions made years ago, and thus the writer and director no longer exist on this earth. Would the self of a year ago argue with the self of today on the choice of takes, or how long to hold a certain shot? Would he object to an attempt to change the mood of a piece? To add or remove scenes or perhaps change the order? Guess it doesn't really matter, right now I'm hoping that I am removed enough from the shooting process to look at this footage without a bias of how it's supposed to be.

As one can imagine, it's been lonely editing alone. When I'm working on other people's projects, they're usually there. So I have an obligation (within reason) to always be attentive and productive. The hardest part so far has been trying to keep myself motivated. If I'm in a shitty mood then it makes it really hard to sit there for hours trying to work. I'll usually just end up leaving instead of stewing in my own frustration. A problem I've had since elementary school, I'll always put my all and then some when working on group projects, but when it comes to my own homework I couldn't care less. Well, I could, but not enough to actually do the homework, grades be damned. So yeah, progress has been slow. I think the lack of a deadline does that. But hey, got this far, no reason to quit now. Just gotta remember that a bunch of folks helped out with this thing, this isn't homework.